So, um

I'm "seeing" Jonny now. Had an amazing night last night.
Calum gave me his brother's ID, which looks nothing like me, but it got me in to two clubs, which was cool. Met loads of new people, and also Southwell's daughter Rosie and Alex Ross's sister Chesca. Or.. however you spell that. Anyway, we started by walking down to Calum's house (It took us a while to find it) and having a few drinks there. After a pathetic three glasses of wine, I was having trouble looking at things and I almost fell over backwards. We then went to the Office, which was alright. Then we went to Walkabout, which I liked. Then Time Bar, which was a bit dark. Then everyone disappeared and I walked Jonny back to my house. We had "fun", I guess. Jonny was hangovery in the morning and was sick in a bag. How.. cute? haha. Anyway, my grandma likes him.
It's a shame that he's going on Friday. I'll have to wait ten weeks for him to come back to Carlisle! I'm gonna have to go down to Sheffield some time. What is this?

TREAT ME LIKE THE SEA

OH SO SALTY AND MEAN, A HA HA.

I've forgotten what I was going to write, oh well.
It's Jonny's 20th tomorrow. We're going out somewhere.

So, today

Was texting Jonny, and went into town with Tom. Was going to meet up with Jonny but he had to go home or something. Me and Tom saw Jonny saying bye to his friends (who include my drama teacher's daughter...), then went, "Hi!" and he stopped to say hello for a few seconds. He asked me to go out on Saturday with him (his 20th birthday...), and that we should go for a coffee some time (I don't like coffee...). When he was gone, Tom told me that Jonny was too gay. And I know deep down I need Tom's complete approval of any guy I meet, which I then told him. But whatever. Who cares? I want to see Jonny. I'm terrified that he doesn't think much of me. How to explain? I don't want him to think that I mean nothing? I don't know how to explain it. It makes sense to me.This was taken in Fats on the night that I met Jonny. It goes:

David, Me, Bob, Paul and Mike.

08:09:15

Hey! U shud hav stayed i wud hav driven u home! Wud av bin nice 2 wake up wt u :) thanks 4 cumin bk 2 concrete! Thanks 4 da nite xx

Howww do I reply to that?

Jonny

Jonny. Johnny? I dunno. He was very, very fit. I got introduced to him in Fats by Carolin, who I don't really know. Anyway. Me, being me, couldn't figure out the whole flirting thing, and I was nervous and stuttering and all that. He bought me a drink, and asked for my number, then I bought him a drink, and got his number. He wanted me to go to Concrete with him but I said that I probably wouldn't get in. The thing is, I am not adept at being in any sort of nightclub. Dancing is not my thing. Should I text him or what? Wait for him to text me? I mean, it's like. I'm bloody terrible at this whole thing.
I have no idea what to do. I really like him. I get the impression that he liked me too, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Get it?

Is what I wrote last night before I got into bed, and before Jonny called me asking where I was. I then got out of bed, got dressed, and walked back down into town, where I met Chris, talked to him for a bit, then gave Jonny my leather jacket to wear, because he was cold. Things went on from there, and I've pretty much had a one-night stand with him, ending up on the couch at his house. I left at about half 6, because I could hear his parents getting up, and I didn't want any awkwardness. ... He's 20 next week.
It took about 50 minutes to walk home.

"Daddy, I suggest we invest in oil."

Oh God, they were the poshest family I've ever been in a room with. Ha. We went to Franco's Italian restaurant, and this family were sitting there. Mummy, Daddy, and three boys. We just laughed at them all the way through the meal. I mean, the stuff that they were coming out with was hilarious. You've gotta feel sorry for them.Told Paul he was cute and very shaggable. Well, I was actually agreeing with someone else, but who cares?

I'm unfit.

This morning I ate bran flakes, did sit ups and push ups. Can't figure out stomach crunches. Then used the weight thing I found under my bed. Argh, I'm unfit. And it's starting to show. Paul's gonna take me to the gym next time he goes. Not on a date, hah.

Haha, seriously.

I've had about four hours of lessons this week. And it's the end of term! Awesome.This photo is going to be on the website that I'm making for my project. I think it's the wrong way up, though. Oh well. I'll figure it out.
The guy on the left is Chris, and the guy on the right is my cousin and best friend, Tom.

Y'know like in films

Kissed Mike once in Fats, then properly got into him when I was walking him to the taxi rank. Basically he was talking and y'know like in films when your eyes just meet? Yeah anyway. He's a much better kisser than John, which is a good thing. I wish he wasn't such a whore, because otherwise he'd be perfect. This isn't going to be any sort of relationship. I guess it's just casual.

Oh, and Mrs. Jones got attacked by Mottershead today for letting Ben bring fake guns into school. Oops.

Fillip

Trust me, I never knewwww... that you were the one... you... were the one... oooh...
Awesome guitaring afterwards. Just so cool.
Anyway, I've got an ulcer on my lip which is killing me. I just watched My Beautiful Laundrette, which was brilliant. Glad I opted for that rather than straight film Paris, Je T'Aime. Hah.

Escape

Is the most fucking beautiful Muse song I've heard.

Wild Pack of Family Dogs

A wild pack of family dogs came runnin' through the yard one day
My father got his gun, shot it up, they ran away okay.
A wild pack of family dogs came runnin' through the yard
And as my own dog ran away with them, I didn't say much of anything at all
A wild pack of family dogs came runnin' through the yard
As my little sister played, the dogs took her away
And I guess she was eaten up okay, yeah she was eaten up okay.
My mother's cryin' blood dust now
My dad he quit his job today, well I guess he was fired but that's okay.
And I'm sittin' outside my mudlake, waiting for the pack to take me away
And right after I die the dogs start floating up towards the glowing sky
Now they'll receive their rewards, now they will receive their reward.

Agnes of God

Was good. Southwell's acting is great.
Now, I was thinking about this today. I have several groups of friends that I periodically hang around with.

1. Becca, Karen, Sarah, Simon, etc. Youth club/walking to school. Stanwix group, I guess.
2. Tom, Matt, Cameron, Alex etc. Metalheads? Something like that.
   
3. Chris, Bob, Paul, Dan etc. Drinking buddies. Hah. Light stoners.
4. Joe, Dan, Kyle, Kyle, Nathan etc. Heavy stoners. Haha.
5. Fay, Steph, Becca, Abi, Hayley etc. Drama.
6. Amy, Simon, Mouse, Tibs etc. Scene kids. Argh.
   

Ashes to Ashes is getting dark...

"So when they launder money, they don't actually wash it?"

Tonight's episode was cold. Next weeks looks quite serious.

Waterloo Road went out with a bang. It was cool. But Amanda/Rachel and Stuart both died. I think. And all I can talk about is TV. Typical.

I'm actually not behind with media, but hey. I'm not going back to the youth club, which fxxkses up my Duke of Edinburgh, which sucks. Seems I really can't stick at anything.

havoc they caused in the past

There's a little grey dot behind the screen which annoys me.

Right, so, I went out to Irene's car and told her I couldn't do it. She said she was very disappointed, that I'd let her down and that I was unreliable, and that she'd get someone more reliable to help like Karen or Becca. Oh well.

The consequences of this are that I won't be going to the youth club any more. They didn't like me, and I didn't like them, so that's fine. Also, I was doing the youth club as the service for my Duke of Edinburgh. Do I still want to be doing that? I don't know. Oh God, why is everything so crap?

Jenova Returns

So basically yesterday I was stressed (should I use that word? my mother uses it) because of my media project, and because of my french exams. After long exchanges with various secretaries, I've decided that I'm going to do the exams, even though I'm gonna have to pay the £45 for them and claim it back. But can you believe that? Only people who actually have money can take exams.
What's up with that?

Then I cheered up because I made the website for my media work (http://www.freewebs.com/howtodestroyarelationship) and did some filming. After helping Becca for a few hours today (without thanks, in typical Becca style), I had the chance to film one scene for my project. I'm rather behind. Anyway, radio was fun.

Irene called me during a lesson, so I had to sneak out to call her back. She wants to meet up with me at 6:15 tonight for a meeting on how to do this presentation that I've volunteered myself to do next Tuesday. I'm screwed. I can't do it at all. And I've missed so much school lately. The downside of pulling out is that I'll lose the shreds of credibility that I have at the youth club, Andrea, Helen and Irene will like me even less, and I feel bad because Becca will probably have to do it. What do I do? I'm lost.

Talking of Becca, her and Karen arranged to go to see a play at the Green Room that my drama teacher's in, without inviting me. This also means that I have to go to this meeting with Irene alone tonight. I'm not happy. I swore at a little girl yesterday because she was being annoying.

If any of my friends read this, they'll like me just that little bit less. Who am I kidding? Nobody reads this. Becca's media project has-- no wait, HAD the potential to be good. Now I think it's gone down a little bit. I'll be amazed if it works. My project's future is looking bleak too, but at least Becca's GOT a storyline she could use. But no, it's random crap. And she even said, "It's not about what's in it, it's about the editing and stuff." But if that's her idea of media coursework, then it might as well be the Spice Girls thing Dawn and that have done. I'm sorry, but I am really, really angry and basically fed up. I'm not happy with being an afterthought. David Itchywhatever likes me in that way. He's a creep, to be honest. Can't I just tell him? "You're creepy! Go away." Why do I have to have a conscience? It's annoying. And what the fuck is up with Mike!? He's all over me one minute, then ignoring me the next. And it turns out that he didn't go to Agent Phil's workshop, which pisses me off. David and Simon are complete twats when it comes to Phil. Screw Mike. And I like a straight guy in that way. He could very easily be gay, and as much as I'd love him to be, I know he really isn't, which makes me a bit sad, because he's amazing.

This is from Paul's Bebo profile, it's very nice.

The best kind of friends are the ones you find pouring their hearts out to you, and who find you doing likewise.

I'll stay quiet and listen, because it's what I do best.

Glassed in the face

So, last night. We went to the Boardroom, and tried Café Sol but it was busy. Boardroom was fun. Ginger Joe was very, very drunk. Stevie's parents were there, and when they left Joe went to the door and shouted "Your daughter's a whore!" it was very funny, but surely enough Stevie's stepfather punched him five times in the face. He looked a mess afterwards but he was too drunk to feel anything and found it funny.

I got told this later, but Tom had been with metalhead Dan in TCs, and Dan had glassed Kim in the face due to alcohol, Kim turning gay and her antagonising him, so I'm unsure whose fault it was. Anyway, Tom gave a statement, Dan got arrested and Kim got taken to hospital.

While this was going on, I'd met Paul once he got out from seeing The Foals (One of these indie bands, a shit band who sound like Bloc Party). We almost went to Cassa but decided against it. We walked home really slowly, talking about everything. And I mean everything. Which I won't go into here. Anyway, I didn't want to go home so we went and sat on the bench for an hour or so. Then Tom came and told us about what happened with Dan. Then he went home, and I stayed with Paul on the bench for another hour. I like Paul. It's not fair.

Grey Ice Water

Did I mention me and Becca came second in Carlisle's drama festival? Festival in the loosest term of the word, that is. And I may have severely offended Mason. Damn my blatant hatred of religion! Anyway, it's Mike's birthday today. I wonder if he's doing anything. I'm gonna see him tomorrow. I sent him a text saying "Hey you sexy beast! Happy birthday! :p" but he doesn't have my number so it'll look like it was off some random. Oh, and I'm officially behind with my media project. Oh, and I got a C in the first module. I'm gonna resit it.

Simon just called me. I saw that it was a private number, so answered with "Hello Private Number!" I am so fucking glad it was Simon.

Kaline and Morphine

Is what my grandma just gave me. Two teaspoons of thick whiteish liquid, which tasted like crap and has left a horrible after taste. She only told me what it was once I'd taken it. Argh. The reason I'm off school is because I'm ill, and there's a choir competition today. I also missed my meeting with Irene Ruddick because I was out last night and forgot to set my alarm. Some girl tried it on with me last night. Ew..

Oh well

"We're not really um looking for um any um sixteen year olds sorry" then hung up on me.

CN Research

I applied for a job at a call centre! I was really nervous when I called so I gave them my phone number instead of my mobile. Idiot, Jack. So I had to run home, and I'm now waiting for them to call back. I need the toilet.

It's doing the scene circuit that I got into Mike. This is gonna be fun.

We've got everything

Last night didn't go as planned. The music was shite, Mike disappeared, and they wouldn't let Paul in. I did have a great dance to Standing In The Way Of Control, though. I love the remix of that.

Anyway. Yesterday, Becca was filming for her media project, and Mike was there, so obviously we flirted a lot. Me and Paul had a bet that I could get into a guy before he could get into a girl, so when Mike told me to kiss him in Café Sol, I couldn't really help myself.