I've decided..

To delve once again into the film industry.

If the world does turn, and if London burns
I'll be standing on the beach with my guitar.

Oh woe

I've got a few great ideas. But either beginnings or endings. That's not how it works. I'm having difficulty plucking up the courage to start writing. I'm so self-critical or whatever.

I've got two essays to do today, or on Sunday night in a panic. I can't motivate myself.

I'm going to Sheffield again! Yes.

Got lost after CFM

Had a really good work experience day at CFM.
Got lost in a Matrix style suburbia.
Random groups of identical chav girls: one pregnant, one with pram, one younger.
Got there eventually though. I met Amy with guess who? Felicity! From like when I was younger.
That was interesting.
I'm in love. Did I mention?

So I was thinking

The Star Trek universe is pretty big. The Star Wars universe is possibly bigger, but not as interesting. But Heroes is limited to Earth, but that's still pretty huge. I might write something short for Voyager some time.

Hahaha

Happily in love. Whirlwind romance and all that.
I might start using this for limited fictional forms.
This photo is terrible.

Oh no I'm neglecting this!

Going to see Jonny in Sheffield tomorrow. Staying over two nights. I'm so so excited.
MEDIA! I was behind but now I'm in front!
http://www.freewebs.com/howtodestroyarelationship is the address!
All I have to do is make the title sequence and upload the trailer to the website.
I'm so excited.

I think Jonny said that he loved me

But I may have misheard. That makes me sad. I got all tearful once he got on the train, so I didn't hang about. I was considering getting a hankie out and waving it, whilst in black and white, like in a 50s war film. Didn't happen, though. I'm gonna miss him.

Husband, your gambling will make us homeless

Sounds like an indie song title.
So, I went to school this morning at about nine but didn't have the password for the mac in the media suite. It's completely insane.
But I'm going to see Jonny tonight instead of going to Jo's birthday party.

Grey Ice Water

I've used this as a post title before. Nice.
I'm gonna miss Jonny so much. Insert sad face.

Pancho's

Going for a meal at Pancho's tomorrow night (tonight) with Jonny and his friend Nat. I'm not sure on the circumstances or any of that. I meeeean. I've been ordered a chicken wrap or something. Chicken fajitas. I hope it's not just the three of us. If there are people I know there, it'd be easier. Or maybe not. If me and Jonny outnumber Nat, then maybe that'd be easier? Hm. I'll see how it goes, anyway.

This is gonna get in the way of our artistic Chinese film. Ah well.

So, um

I'm "seeing" Jonny now. Had an amazing night last night.
Calum gave me his brother's ID, which looks nothing like me, but it got me in to two clubs, which was cool. Met loads of new people, and also Southwell's daughter Rosie and Alex Ross's sister Chesca. Or.. however you spell that. Anyway, we started by walking down to Calum's house (It took us a while to find it) and having a few drinks there. After a pathetic three glasses of wine, I was having trouble looking at things and I almost fell over backwards. We then went to the Office, which was alright. Then we went to Walkabout, which I liked. Then Time Bar, which was a bit dark. Then everyone disappeared and I walked Jonny back to my house. We had "fun", I guess. Jonny was hangovery in the morning and was sick in a bag. How.. cute? haha. Anyway, my grandma likes him.
It's a shame that he's going on Friday. I'll have to wait ten weeks for him to come back to Carlisle! I'm gonna have to go down to Sheffield some time. What is this?

TREAT ME LIKE THE SEA

OH SO SALTY AND MEAN, A HA HA.

I've forgotten what I was going to write, oh well.
It's Jonny's 20th tomorrow. We're going out somewhere.

So, today

Was texting Jonny, and went into town with Tom. Was going to meet up with Jonny but he had to go home or something. Me and Tom saw Jonny saying bye to his friends (who include my drama teacher's daughter...), then went, "Hi!" and he stopped to say hello for a few seconds. He asked me to go out on Saturday with him (his 20th birthday...), and that we should go for a coffee some time (I don't like coffee...). When he was gone, Tom told me that Jonny was too gay. And I know deep down I need Tom's complete approval of any guy I meet, which I then told him. But whatever. Who cares? I want to see Jonny. I'm terrified that he doesn't think much of me. How to explain? I don't want him to think that I mean nothing? I don't know how to explain it. It makes sense to me.This was taken in Fats on the night that I met Jonny. It goes:

David, Me, Bob, Paul and Mike.

08:09:15

Hey! U shud hav stayed i wud hav driven u home! Wud av bin nice 2 wake up wt u :) thanks 4 cumin bk 2 concrete! Thanks 4 da nite xx

Howww do I reply to that?

Jonny

Jonny. Johnny? I dunno. He was very, very fit. I got introduced to him in Fats by Carolin, who I don't really know. Anyway. Me, being me, couldn't figure out the whole flirting thing, and I was nervous and stuttering and all that. He bought me a drink, and asked for my number, then I bought him a drink, and got his number. He wanted me to go to Concrete with him but I said that I probably wouldn't get in. The thing is, I am not adept at being in any sort of nightclub. Dancing is not my thing. Should I text him or what? Wait for him to text me? I mean, it's like. I'm bloody terrible at this whole thing.
I have no idea what to do. I really like him. I get the impression that he liked me too, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Get it?

Is what I wrote last night before I got into bed, and before Jonny called me asking where I was. I then got out of bed, got dressed, and walked back down into town, where I met Chris, talked to him for a bit, then gave Jonny my leather jacket to wear, because he was cold. Things went on from there, and I've pretty much had a one-night stand with him, ending up on the couch at his house. I left at about half 6, because I could hear his parents getting up, and I didn't want any awkwardness. ... He's 20 next week.
It took about 50 minutes to walk home.

"Daddy, I suggest we invest in oil."

Oh God, they were the poshest family I've ever been in a room with. Ha. We went to Franco's Italian restaurant, and this family were sitting there. Mummy, Daddy, and three boys. We just laughed at them all the way through the meal. I mean, the stuff that they were coming out with was hilarious. You've gotta feel sorry for them.Told Paul he was cute and very shaggable. Well, I was actually agreeing with someone else, but who cares?

I'm unfit.

This morning I ate bran flakes, did sit ups and push ups. Can't figure out stomach crunches. Then used the weight thing I found under my bed. Argh, I'm unfit. And it's starting to show. Paul's gonna take me to the gym next time he goes. Not on a date, hah.

Haha, seriously.

I've had about four hours of lessons this week. And it's the end of term! Awesome.This photo is going to be on the website that I'm making for my project. I think it's the wrong way up, though. Oh well. I'll figure it out.
The guy on the left is Chris, and the guy on the right is my cousin and best friend, Tom.

Y'know like in films

Kissed Mike once in Fats, then properly got into him when I was walking him to the taxi rank. Basically he was talking and y'know like in films when your eyes just meet? Yeah anyway. He's a much better kisser than John, which is a good thing. I wish he wasn't such a whore, because otherwise he'd be perfect. This isn't going to be any sort of relationship. I guess it's just casual.

Oh, and Mrs. Jones got attacked by Mottershead today for letting Ben bring fake guns into school. Oops.

Fillip

Trust me, I never knewwww... that you were the one... you... were the one... oooh...
Awesome guitaring afterwards. Just so cool.
Anyway, I've got an ulcer on my lip which is killing me. I just watched My Beautiful Laundrette, which was brilliant. Glad I opted for that rather than straight film Paris, Je T'Aime. Hah.